Looking back at a Golden Era...

5 Jan... this date got a new meaning for me in year 2010, when 4 small town people landed in the city of dream and despair. This was the date when these 4 people were chosen by the fate to stay together, out of which 2 were meant to be together.
It was 5 Jan 2010, when I started my career in the field that interest me the most. I want to steal a moment to look back towards the same date, when I was new to this city, completely ignorant towards future, I was here just to join my new site and make a career. My mind was full of hope and confidence towards my work and no other thoughts. I was ready to accept whatever wait ahead for me and was ready to mould it in the way I want... and here I am, writing about the day that seems to be just yesterday and yet, a whole era have been passed for me...

Almost everything that I used to know or believe has been changed in this one year. Some people travelled the distance from "unknown" to "someone special" and many travelled down to "known" from "very special". I remember myself vividly standing on foot board just to know what it feels like to be travelling in local or staying out till late just to know what it taste like Independence. A timeless city that don't count on the hours or days, but do count seconds and minutes. An old city that doesn't care if you get old, but do take care that you GROW old. I read somewhere a quote, "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them". I never even need to put a foundation when I thought about working in Mumbai, it was fate that took a turn and get me in here.

I had a job to earn, but I earned my friends; I had friends to love, but I loved my wish. There is nothing that I regret about since I came here, unlike other different places where I got to be. This city just welcomed me with arms wide open, nourished me with its experiences and healed me with the love that I have ever got in my life...

There is something typically strange about this place or may be the bunch of people that makes this a place... no matter where you go, you get a feeling that you have been a part of it, you are always welcomed warmly and you never get lost. Stroll between unknown faces and you will always find a piece of memory that you can co-relate with some face passing by, or travel anywhere, you won't be able to keep yourself away from getting cared by strangers. There is hardly any festival that goes unnoticed here. People in here actually search for some reason to celebrate the innocence that they have to left while pushing themselves beyond their own limits to reach the top of everything. Everyone everywhere is in hurry, but there is always someone to offer you a hand when you fall down. At times, it gives a feeling that this city have a living soul and watching eyes... it watches you through the corner of the road that you cross while listening music, it stares you when you watch out from a train's window and when your soul starts listening to the silent whispers of the city, it provides you a guardian angel to take care of you.

If it would have been just a job, I would say I hate it as everyone else does... but this is about spending a whole year here, that reveals its surprise at each period of time, brought me a new learning and wisdom to brew. I often hear people saying that there is no peace left in this city... there are moments when I have been at peace even when I am in a crowed local at peak hours. Every place that I visit, speaks a language that cherishes me if I offer myself as a silent and nonreactive listener.
It is not just about buildings and machines that make this city up, but something always happen to the people who come here. The living soul of this city transform them to be a part of it, to fill all the goodness that exist in the aura of this city, besides it keeps the demon inside you alive... so that you can test yourself at every step. This city gets you addicted of itself. Once you live here, it becomes part of you and no matters where go next, you always find a part of it alive inside you.

The four free birds that landed together in the shelter of this city apparently gets to grow apart, but I want to dedicate this blog to all 3 of them without whom I would have been all alone. We are on our own way of building our nest that we have always thought about, but even in this soulful city, when I needed someone to smile with or to cry on... I always find them as a resort from where I never have to walkout. I have found my guardian angel and don't know should I thank this place or it was just fate that brought it up to me, but without these three chapters of friendship, care and love... I would have been an incomplete book.

Random Thoughts

Recently read an interesting fact about moth...
"Moths are not attracted by the light, they are attracted by the dark spot just behind the light source."

Aren't we all like the moth throughout our lives... We keep on running behind the light of love, fame, money, happiness, but what we get after reaching the light is just a dark spot... where you find yourself standing alone... light is just so near, but still unreachable...

How to bridge the gap between the light and the dark spot has always been a mystery. It takes a life's span to resolve it and even when you do, you will find out that you have missed all the moment that would have been precious while trying to resolve this mystery. Is it really a mystery or have we complicated it to this much extent by the way we live our life bounded in so called rules of human kind. Rules were once made to make human life more worthy, disciplined, but what if at some point of time you find out that it is these rules that is taking your life away, sucking away all that was originally yours and leaving behind an aim to follow the rat race... upon which I remember one quote by Alexander Pope, a forgotten poet from London of 18th century....

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned."

unwishing the truth to be seen...

Dedicated to the best man of my life that noelse can ever have in the way that i did...




the world of colors, is now a world of lies
i lived there once and got to die twice...
what remains unsmelled and untouched all through
i wonder, if he is watching me over the skies...


the hand that i held, now that is gone
shine of the time, seems to all frown...
ahead is path of uncertainity and deception
every step that i take, moans all alone...


i wish i would be dreaming, wake up someday to find
all that i am wishing now, is the only accepted of mine
opening the eyes every morning and in the night
to see myself keeping you unvanishing, unmistakable and untimed


wondering what went wrong, stealing the memories to unsee
how far you have went, how badly i want to undo this to be
silence is falling down for words are losing their way
with an unrevealing, unexplainable wound...
living this illusion to keep you with me always

Random thoughts on 22nd Sept

Due to recent change in situation or lack of time, i have given up putting all those hi-fi intellectual or whatever post in here. And starting to put on all the random thoughts and recent happening around.

why i do kept this pic for today's blog! Coz I remembered this song just like that and now it not getting out of my head. An i would like to mention that whatever be the rest of the stuff in this post, initial idea to write this post was the song, so i wont let anything else to take the priority and get its pic for this post.

Yesterday was a day, much celebrated in western India. The 10 day festival is basically for celebrating the presence of God Ganesh on earth. Historical evidence shows that it was started by Shivaji Maharaj, to promote culture and nationalism. It was re initiated by Shri Lokmanya Tilak, well known freedom fighter, who recognize the wide appeal deity of Ganesh as "god of everybody" and popularize Ganesh chaturthi as national festival basically to bridge the gap between various sub castes of Hindus and to build new grass root unity amongst people that helped to unity people and fight against British rule.
Well, so nice to read that our great leader were so thoughtful and we all share the same history as well... but what about present! How many of us can dare to say we all knew about the history behind this celebration... how many of us have are actually aware of all such deep rooted reason for celebration of such festival. I don't feel shy to say, i wasn't aware, infact while writing this, i searched some stuff on google and found it.
During all these 10 days, you may see all well decorated Ganesh statue all around you, with music been played loudly till late, irrespective of the concern towards common man who have to scarify his sleep for whole of 10 days and specially on 10th day. Thousands of people rush home early to get their family have a look at these beautiful statue of Lord Ganesh and they stand 24hrs in a queue, just to get blessed by god. Loud music keeps on playing for 10 days, ruining people's peace... and more to my wonder, yesterday I saw after completing all the rituals, two groups in our colony brought Dj system on a truck and were playing it on the road to make people dance, blocking the road of course... and both the groups kept on increasing the volume until they found it couldn't be increased after a certain limit and all this for a sake of stupid competition...
I seriously wana ask all those people, chanting and shouting "Ganpati bappa morya", where exactly is the real spirit of this festival? Why ordinary people have to stand in line for 24 hrs while so called higher class always get a way to have special visit to these famous Pandals? Why is people's peace is destroyed for music competitions at these festivals?

In this race of commercialization, even the faith in god has been served to people in a golden plate. Elder always keep on cursing the situation and time to be bad coz of present generation... have they ever cared to root the same faith and great thoughts in us. This generation do have great thoughts and share the same history, only coz of race of time and money, we don't have time to look back and so no one else does care to tell us the scene behind... I just wanted you all reader to be aware of the real meaning of this 10 day celebration of Lord Ganesha and pass the ideas on before it get vanished... As THY SAY, PEOPLE DIE BUT NOT THE IDEAS...

Silent whispers...

Omens… I know that many of us, who likes to live in fantasy world created around us, by the older people in their stories, will be familiar to this word; this is how they describe the mystical sign by the soul of universe which we called as God, have left for us, as a puzzle to be solved out at the correct time. I know that some people believes that “we see what we wants”, but have you ever realized that what is the thing that make our belief so strong that even our sense of sight is been captured by that. May be things just happen randomly and for a moment we get a sense of the super big chain of the activities that have already been done and those that are about to be done. What is the thing that links you up with this chain, does it choose you or you just got involved it in due to some specific reason. Do you Really don’t want to know the Answers of all these Questions or do you Want to, but afraid to face the Answer?

If you ask me, yes I am afraid sometimes to know the answer and sometimes I feel that I am prepared to know them, live them…may be that is the way I can find the reason of having this quest in my mind or may be it helps me to find the reason of my being in this world. If you consider for a moment, the presence of this super big chain of incidents to be true, you will feel that we are here to play our own part, to make it happen somehow. You just can’t imagine how a simple sms, a single second of getting stuck in traffic, even breaking of a glass can change someone’s life miraculously. Some of us are chosen to do things and the other ones are to support in letting those things happen in one way or the other. I know that this may sound like a part of a spiritual or intellectual book or a storyline of a sci-fi movie, but you are not bound to trust me… trust yourself, if you are not afraid of doing it…

Why would you see a person in your dream with which you have met an accident in your past, on the very same day when you again face an accident! When everything is just going perfect, why would you dream about a breaking up of trust upon someone, which later on turns to be true somehow! Have you ever realized that when you see or listen a particular song somehow, with which there is a specific person associated, you get in contact with that person, whether or not being planned! Why do you sometimes pick you cell just to check that have you got a call or text and within 5 seconds, it rang up! If you have any of these questions in your mind, then I am sure you can understand what I am talking about. What is the use of knowing things if you can’t change it? Do you really get to know these things just like that, without any reason or there is some reason that you need not to know at this time, but at some specifically correct time! Sometimes I got scared of these questions because its answers have not got anyway yet to come to me. Sometimes I am afraid of feeling anything because I know that one way or another, this feeling is going to be true. Sometimes I am confused that is it really meant to happen or my fear took over me and make me to be true. So, sometimes I wish that I can have so much noise around me that I can lost myself in it and forget myself… and rest of the other times, I think that may be these questions will lead me to the final destination, the main job that I am supposed to do in this super big chain of events…where we all are just supposed to do the things, at the correct time, in the correct order, to let happen what is supposed to be, no matter what it takes.

A mesmerizing moment

I don't know what to say... may be I am at peace, that can be momentary, but the one that I was searching since a long. How easy does it seems to imagine about a perfect life... to fantasize those moments that we had always wanted to live, the memories that we wished if they could have been created to be cherished, the words that must have been said to touch the heart, the voice that could have healed the soul...

We say, magic don't happen these days... but somewhere inside, we always pray for one to be realized. Even when we pray, we ask for the things that we never really wanted to be real. We live in a world that has two faces, one that we wanted to show and the other one... that we have had, as a treasure in heart, that never stops giving us hope when we want... to be lost, that console us that we are still true... when we have become that we never wanted to be.

Peace is a state that you achieve when you dare to sing with the symphony of this hidden world, when you make a stand to face the questions that you always tried to hide yourself from, when you just let go your dearest dream to find its own fate. Peace is when you let the wind pass by you and you take time to smell the fragrance of a long lost memory in it, when you look outside the window to watch how birds stares at you and not just make them fly away, when you don't even need a memory to make you smile... when there is just a feeling of hearing a voice from somewhere deep inside within you, that tells you that you are fine now.

How powerful can be the person who can just bring a smile on your face, without even seeing you or knowing you... how soulful can a thought be that can just bring you out of the blue without even letting you know that you have already lived a whole life with that thought and so now, you deserves to have the best of everything. I am at peace because I have been that thought for someone, once or twice... I have been the smile on someone's face, may be trice... I had once found myself in the screaming happiness of children when their joy have touched the sky, I have felt myself falling from skinny, old cheeks, as a tear of silent cherish that have fallen from the eyes where dreams have been abandon by responsibilities, where the whisper of a silent prayer still enchant. I had lost myself in the warmth of trust that can makes you purblind enough to see the odds, I was the shiver of surprise that was found out of the forms. I was an old letter once, that was written by a friend to share her world... I had closed myself in the eyes to feel the new hope, when the sleep wipes away all the sinful prides. But most importantly, it was me... who found the peace in the silent language of soul of the universe that leave me alone again with the lesson that peace cannot be achieve again and again from the same thing, but it is a thing that you can have from absolutely unpredictable ways, that you can just feel when you have paid enough price for it by being through the painful process of self-recognition... that waves me a sweet good bye with a sign that peace is not a thing that you can wish or work for to have it, but a breeze that you can just be able to feel when you really meant to.

when the high street looked so low...

Silence... used to be a cherish
a word to describe the enlightenment,
the comfort of having around
a dream thats so beautifully meant.

Silence... where no one can intrude
a peace that captivate the soul,
the light that brighten the time
even when the world outside is so cold.

Silence... has now become a pain
those moments... thats making me a stone,
the feeling of never being alone again
You have taken it back, all along.

Silence... a wall thats keeping us apart
curse of letting Your hand slipped away,
shiny days of laughter & smiles has flown
I wonder You saying, Thats all life's way!

So tell me how to fill this emptiness that resides
Silence is the only thing that kills me inside.
For memories has no hiding place
its just a way to know that I am losing this last race...